FOKUS

ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~

WALAAAAAAAAAHH ! Sangat lama woah tidak update ! MISS ME ? Eh salah intro. One more time.

HONEY ~ I'M HOME ~ GIMME SOME MUUCCHYY HUGGY ~!

Err. Okay. Camni.

COME TO PAPA KIDDO ~ HOW YA BEEN DOIN ? 

Yeah yeah yeah. I've been EXTREMELY busy lately. Really. Niat nak update tu ada. But tak berkesempatan. 

1st of all. Saya. CALON SPM 2012 meh ! I REALLY wanna be a doctor. Ever since tinggi saya 100cm. 6 years old to be exact. Seriously aku memang mengalir Niagara lah kalau tengok cerita or dokumentari or rancangan or even baca something about someone yang ada penyakit pelik or penyakit yang boleh je rawat but tak mampu. I wish I could help them. Saving lives. Giving them a second chance. A new life. Seeing those happy bersyukur tak terhingga faces. Plus. Sains. Health. Always connected with Islam. Its so beautiful. Dunia medic ni sangat luas untuk diterokai. 

But. Medic ni memang SANGAT susah. Just what bothering me lately is. As we all know. Medic ni kalau taksilap aku antara course yang PALING MAHAL di Malaysia ni. Kan ? Am I right ? Kalau masuk U biasa memang murah la. BUT ! My aunt said nak masuk medic SPM WAJIB 9A+ ! Memang terkedu ah ! Kalau nak masuk kolej swasta senang je. 5 kredit dah boleh check in. BUT ! Ah segala benda nak ada but. Gedik ah ! Bayaran dia sampai mencecah ratus ribu woah ! Boleh pergi Haji berapa kali la tu. 

But. Insya-Allah. Itu dilema boleh nanti bincang sama Allah through solat Istikharah. Come on guys. He's our Creator. He always knows the best for all of us ! Believe that ! Dan aku percaya. SERIOUSLY. Bukan nak cakap besar. SPM ITU SANGAT SENANG ! Konsep dia sama cam UPSR. Dulu kita kata PERGH UPSR PAYAHNYA CAM NAK BUAT KEK DENGAN KARI TAPI NAK KASI RASANYA CAM CHEESE ! Faham ? But now ? Sangat menyesal takdapat straight As. Now kita rasa senang gila lah sangat UPSR tu cam nak kelip mata. Nampak ? Aku just taknak menyesal after SPM nanti baru la nak kata SPM tu senang gila asal takbuat betulbetul asal takdapat straight As blablabla. And yeah. I can see that the world these days banyak cerdik pandai is being produced. Banyak saingan. So. 

''Biar kita terseksa payah dulu sekarang. Untuk kesenangan 60 tahun akan datang.'' - Pengetua SMK Engku Husain. 

And the other day. Pengetua ada bagi ceramah about something yang tak sesuai diceritakan di sini time kem haritu. So terpancar la sinar keinsafan. Dan semangat nak SPM tu dah mula membara ! DOA DAN KESUNGGUHAN ! INSYA-ALLAH ! 

Next. Ehem Ehem. Adalah dimaklumkan. Bahawasanya. PC SAYA ROSAK ! T___T On the last day of 2011. My mom made a statement. Which membuktikan. Katakata seorang ibu itu. SANGAT MAKBUL ! So back to the story. She said. ''Tahun depan kau nak SPM adik kau nak UPSR say byebye la to your PC tu.'' And the next day. POOF ! Hopefully she'll said something like ''SPM KAU NANTI 9A+ AND YOU WILL BE A GREAT SUCCESSFUL MAN DI DUNIA DAN AKHIRAT !'' AMIN ! At first. Memang la nak baiki. But of course my mom wont allowed it. But later then. I think aman sungguh. Dah takde gangguan. Cuz usually I hadap PC on facebook layan games. Oh I LOVE RESTAURANT CITY ! And every second ada je statement nak diluahkan dipostkan. But now. FB dah deactivated. Until habis SPM Insya-Allah. Saya sudah tak hidup dalam alam maya. Sudah berdiri di kaki sendiri. Menghadapi alam realiti. Planning to have a Twitter later HOHO But seriously. Now rasa masa tu sangat la banyak. Rasa rugi gila terkenangkan masamasa terluang dahulu yang dibazirkan ! 

A LOT has happened. And its not like what I've been expected and hoped. This is my final year. And its already June. But so far. Takde kenangan memori terindah pun yang tercipta. Kosong. Sunyi. Kelam. Maybe cuz semua orang busy with SPM. Harihari nampak muka tense and stress diorang. And for some reason that I couldnt accepted. I've been really down. Takbanyak cakap. Takbanyak gaul dengan geng dulu. Always alone. I dont mind. But kawan ada gak yang kata like aku ni dah sombong and such. But guys. Seriously. Its not like aku dah taksuka korang. Or rasa korang taklayak kawan dengan aku ke apa segala yang mengarut negatif berlegar di kepala kalian. Its just that. Maybe thats the best for me. Yeah probs always datang bertimpatimpa. But now saya dah matang. Saya tolak tepi semua probs and isu peribadi tu suruh diorang ambil nombor beratur. Lepas SPM nanti baru saya panggil satusatu kasi settle. Cuz my MAIN PRIORITY now is SPM !

But still. No matter how hard I tried to hide it. Acting like nothing happened. Fooling myself is a huge crime. No matter how fast time flies. The pain is still severe. The loneliness still wont leave. No matter how long it gonna takes. I'll be here. Waiting for the moment to come.

*Dear Adli Danial. Aku jealous. SANGAT JEALOUS. Dengan kau. Kawan :)

So. Until saya habis SPM. INSYA-ALLAH. Take a good care of yourself !

ASSALAMUALAIKUM ~